Friendship with JPII

I've made lots of stumbling social media posts about him over the years. Because even my hipster streak (always annoyed whenever I like what a lot of other people like) cannot quell my love for this man. And there is no shortage of quantifiable reasons why:

• he was an artist - an actor and a poet

• not only did he resist the Nazis

• he resisted them using art and culture at the risk of his life

• he was an adventurer, an outdoorsman

• and had a particular love for mountains

• he wrote The Theology of the Body which

• reintroduced the world to the holiness of physical things and human love

But as important as all these things are, they don't explain the relationship with him. And honestly, this jumble of a blog post probably also won't actually explain the relationship with him. All I can do is present you with a quick survey of external facts and that's like trying to explain the relationship you have with a close friend by saying "we hang out a lot and its easy to talk to her". But I can't tell the story of this pilgrimage without at least attempting to explain how important he is and how present he has been throughout this time.

Ever since the movie starring Cary Elwes and Jon Voight brought him to life for me and I chose him as my Confirmation Patron, he has had a continuous and growing presence in my life. Even a brief scan of his bio gives an ample list of categories of life to entrust to his protection and when I first made the Consecration to Merciful Love, I chose his feast day. (My friend and I celebrated with an epic camping trip).

When I first went to Rome four years ago, I was mostly excited for seeing all the old things. I'm a history nerd and it was my first time anywhere where the average age of historical buildings is over 250 years old. But even in the midst of all the ancient splendor, what I was the most moved by was coming to his tomb and praying in the presence of a man who had changed the world and who had taken me under his particular patronage.

Returning to Rome in September, this feeling was renewed. I returned to his tomb at the earliest possible opportunity and was comforted by his presence there. I felt his presence too as we wandered the city he had spent so many years in as Pope. I felt deeply the assurance that he would be a guide and companion on the pilgrimage I was beginning.

I was already preparing to renew my Consecration on his feast day and decided to combine celebrating with the trip to Siena that many people had recommended to me. It felt a little random at the time, but also like the most achievable of the many ideas I had about how to celebrate.

And pretty much the moment I arrived in Siena, it started to make sense. Every moment I spent there felt like such a gift. Siena really deserves its own blog post but the main point is that it was beautiful and exactly what I needed. I prayed my Consecration in multiple, beautiful Churches across the medieval city, including one that had a mini shrine to JPII and Divine Mercy together.

From Siena, I went to Rome to meet up with some friends. Saturday night was the coming home to St. Peter's Square that I mentioned in a previous post.

Sunday morning, I went, somewhat at random, to Santo Spirito (a beautiful Church that I knew I liked) and attended Mass sitting between, on one side, a huge, beautiful image of the Divine Mercy and, on the other, a huge, beautiful image of JPII. Multiple times during Mass, I would glance over at the picture of him and, as silly as it might sound, straight up burst into tears because I felt so loved by him.

Monday morning, I went to pray at his tomb again and, with him, felt a difficult and important area in my heart begin to shift. It was such a powerful prayer time, in fact, that I began to be afraid that he was with me to get me through that and now he would maybe leave or something.

Tuesday afternoon, I visited my friend who studies at the Angelicum. She introduced me to a tree in the St. Joseph garden (more on him later) under which JPII would sit to write his doctorate. As someone who loves to sit under trees to write, I was more than a little overwhelmed by this completely unexpected connection point with my hero. It also felt very clear that he had no intention of leaving me now. I had intended to go and see a couple of other things in the break we had between plans. But I couldn't leave.

I made a few fitful attempts at poetry and such, but concluded that nothing I could write would be good enough to have been written in a place like that. So instead, I wrote a prayer to him:

my dear Karol, please help me to be a good writer. help me to write always what is wholly, physically and profoundly true that through my words the beauty of the Heart of Jesus may be reflected and not marred by any lack of what is real. dear friend, stay always close to me. teach me clear sight for all that God is doing, fidelity to the task and the inspiration I am given, wisdom and freedom in finding the words for what stirs in my soul, courage to five everything always to the moment wherever I am called and, above all, help me always to love better, receive love more completely and allow the Holy Spirit to expand and purify my heart. bring me to the mountains, bring me into whole harmony with myself and bring me into holy and profound relationship with those around me. thank you for you faithful friendship, guide me on the way to Him that we love and the eternal friendship of the Body of Christ. With you at my side I offer myself again as a victim of holocaust to His Merciful Love and entrust all that I am and desire to Jesus. Amen