This is Where I Leave You

NAME: This is Where I Leave You

SPECS: Film, 2014, R, Jason Batemen, Tina Fey, Adam Driver, Corey Stohl, Kathryn Hahn, Jane Fonda, Rose Byrne, Dax Shepard, Ben Schwartz

SUMMARY: Four adult siblings return home to mourn the death of their father

OVERALL RATING: J

MATURITY LEVEL: It's like a constant barrage of profanity and graphic sexual language (only one actual bedroom scene). While it's at a level that could reasonably be called gratuitous, I think it mysteriously does serve the impact of the movie well.

WHAT I’VE BEEN STRUCK/MOVED BY: I've watched this movie at least five times now and it's still a little hard to explain why it is that I love it.

The first time I watched it was on the plane home from Rome. In the middle seat, in the middle of the night, in the middle of the Atlantic ocean, light coming only from the screens of the other passengers and the restroom signs and already blinding exhaustion. In spite of the downsides, there is something confusingly beautiful about those transatlantic flights.

Anyways, I watched this along with a couple of other movies and at some point in that sequence, but definitely after this movie, I turned off my screen and took out my earbuds and had the most consoling and beautiful prayer time, there in that middle seat.

I thought maybe it was a fluke, that it was something about the exhaustion and the being outside of time, but I watched the movie again, at least a year later and in two fragments and again it left me consoled and so ready to pray. After a couple more viewings, I don't think its an accident, even if I can't put my finger on exactly why.

But I think the closest I can come to an explanation is that this movie is life affirming. We're dropped into a family that is just about as broken and messy as you can get and we see just about every detail of that mess. And maybe it's because even then the characters are loveable, that you see the worth of each person not dependent on what they do, worth by virtue of simply being who they are. As Jane Fonda's character says, "Your father loved you, not what you did."

Alternatively, the explanation might be that this is a stacked line-up of actors, a well written script, and, most importantly, that Adam Driver gives my favorite performance of any I've ever seen from him. Arguably even more of a mess than his siblings, his character, Phillip, is goofy, sweet, and (confusingly) pure of heart.

If you are even a little bit queasy about language or sexual content, I'd have to advise you to stay away. But if you can take a hit from the messiness of the world and be willing to still see the good in the most broken of people, then you might be someone who loves this movie as much as I do.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

(Spoiler alert section):

A FAVORITE QUOTE AND/OR SCENE:

Judd Altman : I spent my entire life playing it safe, just to avoid being exactly where I am now. Penny Moore : Ya know, where you are right now? Right now, you're in a cool rink, on a hot day, listening to a Cindy Lauper classic, under some disco lights. Cut yourself some slack, Judd. Anything can happen. Anything happens all the time.

WHAT I WAS STRUCK/MOVED BY - SPOILER VERSION: My favorite part of the movie is the sequence that begins with the ultrasound and hearing the baby's heartbeat, all the way through the waiting room brawl, flipping the car, and the conversation with Wade. All the life-affirmingness of the movie comes to a head here (and even spills over into a pretty relentless affirmation that an unborn fetus is a child). And I love the very genuine moments of beauty and loyalty in the midst of the trainwreck: how moved they are by hearing the heartbeat, the frat boys who rally to help him take revenge on Wade, and the exchange between Judd and Phillip:

Judd Altman : I'm gonna have to forgive her for the sake of that kid, aren't I? Phillip Altman : Well, I'm no expert... but I think you're gonna have to make much larger sacrifices down the road.

The chaos never stops, but there's something so beautiful about that whole sequence.

Even harder to explain, my other favorite scene is when Phillip is talking to Wendy and the sweetness of the younger brother looking out for his big sister.

There are many other moments I love as well: lying on the ice with Penny, when Judd finally has a memory of his father and breaks down crying, and honestly just about every time that Adam Driver is on screen.

At the end of the day, I don't really know how to explain this movie. I just know that it's confusingly beautiful, deeply cathartic, and somehow always puts my heart in the right disposition for prayer.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS TO START WITH: Honestly, maybe the best way to reflect on this movie is simply to watch it and then go immediately to prayer and see what happens.